I gossip good for us?

“IF you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me,” Alice Roosevelt Longworth, a self-proclaimed “hedonist,” used to say. But it seems the greater pleasure comes from more temperate gossip.
New research finds that gossiping can be good for you — as long as you have something nice to say.
In a presentation in September, Jennifer Cole, a social psychologist, and Hannah Scrivener reported results from two related studies, both of which demonstrate that it’s in one’s self-interest to say “So-and-so’s second husband is adorable” rather than “She married that lout?”
In the first study, intended to measure a person’s short-term emotional reaction to gossiping, 140 men and women, primarily undergraduates, were asked to talk about a fictional person either positively or negatively.
The second study, which looked into the long-term effects of gossiping on well-being, had 160 participants, mostly female undergrads, fill out questionnaires about their tendency to gossip, their self-esteem and their perceived social support.
According to Dr. Cole, after speaking kindly of others, positive emotions were raised 3 percent, negative emotions were reduced 6 percent, and self-esteem rose 5 percent. These are not huge numbers, as Dr. Cole is the first to admit. But it’s nonetheless one of the few times researchers have attributed anything beneficial to the silly art of gossip.
And there was one decidedly positive result: whether kind or cruel, gossip was associated with a greater sense of social support for the perpetuator.
But does tittle-tattle really help attract more friends? “It could be that people who gossip a lot think they have social support, but they don’t actually,” Dr. Cole said, noting that previous research shows people tend to dislike and mistrust gossips.
“We’re all gossipers,” said Judith Martin, a k a Miss Manners. “We bond that way, and people who talk about other people are interesting.” But, she added, “People who spread malicious gossip are despicable.” Miss Manners would appreciate then, that the consequences of bad-mouthing others were pronounced — not just on the targets, something established by plenty of earlier research — but on the gossipers themselves.
After criticizing other people, gossipers’ positive emotions were reduced by 16 percent and negative emotions increased 34 percent. It may be a function of empathy; we feel badly for the objects of our derision. Or it could be selfishness; we realize people won’t like us for nattering on meanly about others.
But what of Mrs. Longworth, the celebrated Washington socialite?
“She was a law unto herself,” said Ms. Martin, who knew Mrs. Longworth during her later years. “A lot of people did sit next to her!”

“Is Gossip Good for You? Links Between Gossiping Behavior and Subjective Well-Being” — Jennifer Cole and Hannah Scrivener, presented Sept. 7 at a British Psychological Society conference.

Message of Hope: Suicide Prevention

Gracelyn Duffee Elmendorf listens to what mental health officials have to say about depression and suicide.
But what they say about the subject is nothing compared with living through it, she said.

Elmendorf’s first husband and their son both committed suicide. They were predeceased by her husband’s grandfather, who also took his own life.

“If they haven’t been through it, it’s fiction,” Elmendorf said. “You have to go through this to really understand all the dynamics involved.”

Elmendorf has set out on a mission to educate others and prevent other tragedies like hers from coming to pass.

You can hear her speak  on November 4th at 7:00pm at the First Baptist Activity Center. For more information you can email me at school scollier@capefearacademy.org

An Anti Bullying Message From The President

Here's a great video from the president. An important and timely message. Check it out: Obama on You Tube

Trick or Treat: FOR GOOD!!

If you think Halloween is only about candy and politically incorrect costumes, think again. Halloween can be about candy, costumes AND helping provide basic amenities for children around the world.

We believe the Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF fundraiser is a cause worth getting involved with this Halloween.

The campaign was started in 1950 by Mary Emma Allison to provide aid to children struggling to recover from World War II. Allison enlisted the help of other parents and children through a nationwide network of churches. UNICEF adopted the campaign after several Halloweens with sizable monetary donations.

Children around the United States carry an orange UNICEF box while trick-or-treating on Halloween. Upon ringing the doorbell and saying "trick-or-treat," children would ask if the candy givers would like to donate to UNICEF and place donations inside the orange UNICEF box.

We propose getting some donation boxes for your Halloween party and festivities.

Party guests would not be forced to donate, but could donate as little as the spare change in their pockets. The important fact to mention if you decide to participate in the campaign is any donation is helpful, regardless of the size of the contribution.

How you can get involved:

• Donate online – unicefusa.org
• Donate by phone – 1.800.FOR.KIDS
• Donate by text message – text TOT to 864233 to make donations
• Download the iPhone app – UNICEF USA
• Host a Halloween party – register your Halloween party with UNICEF to receive an official fundraising kit.
• If you forget to collect the official UNICEF Trick-or-Treat boxes or register your party, you can still collect donations for the campaign.
• Donations can be dropped off at a Coinstar machine by selecting the "U.S. Fund for UNICEF" donation option (code #5555) or mailed to: Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF
  U.S. Fund for UNICEF
  125 Maiden Lane
  New York, NY 10038

please refer to UNICEF for more information

original article

The All Important Test Score

How does an admissions office like the one at the University of Pennsylvania or the University of Michigan weigh an applicant’s standardized test scores?
I asked the deans of each institution that question in recent interviews recorded for a coming online course, “Introduction to College Admissions,” that I helped create with my colleagues at The New York Times Knowledge Network.
In the first of two excerpts, above, Eric Furda, the dean of admission at the University of Pennsylvania, suggests that “it will surprise people how quickly we go over something like test scores.” He then advises applicants, as they try to gauge whether their applications will be “competitive,” to pay particular attention to the standardized test scores of those students enrolled at Penn or other colleges who fell in the “middle 50 percent test range” of the class (in other words, those whose scores would have ranked in the 25th through 75th percentiles, when compared to the class as a whole).

Mr. Furda doesn’t specify those scores in the interview, but for the current freshman class at Penn they are: SAT critical reading, 660 to 770, out of a possible 800; SAT math, 690 to 780; SAT writing, 680 to 770; and ACT composite, 30 to 34, out of a possible 36.
Those prospective applicants who might be discouraged by the scores, take note: a quarter of those students in the current freshman class scored lower. And yes, to be fair, a quarter scored higher. I also note that Penn, a private Ivy League institution, is among the most competitive colleges in the nation, and that the median scores at most of the nation’s 2,000 or so other four-year colleges are substantially lower.
In another interview for the course, below, Ted Spencer, director of undergraduate admissions at Michigan in Ann Arbor, a flagship public institution, makes clear that his office has no minimum “cutoffs” when it considers applicants’ standardized test scores. In fact, he says, he would be more inclined to admit an applicant with low test scores and a strong grade point average than a high-scoring student who did not perform to his or her potential in high school.

this article originally appeared in The New York Times

How to Push Past the Pain, as the Champions Do

My son, Stefan, was running in a half marathon in Philadelphia last month when he heard someone coming up behind him, breathing hard.
To his surprise, it was an elite runner, Kim Smith, a blond waif from New Zealand. She has broken her country’s records in shorter distances and now she’s running half marathons. She ran the London marathon last spring and will run the New York marathon next month.
That day, Ms. Smith seemed to be struggling. Her breathing was labored and she had saliva all over her face. But somehow she kept up, finishing just behind Stefan and coming in fifth with a time of 1:08:39.
And that is one of the secrets of elite athletes, said Mary Wittenberg, president and chief executive of the New York Road Runners, the group that puts on the ING New York City Marathon. They can keep going at a level of effort that seems impossible to maintain.
“Mental tenacity — and the ability to manage and even thrive on and push through pain — is a key segregator between the mortals and immortals in running,” Ms. Wittenberg said.
You can see it in the saliva-coated faces of the top runners in the New York marathon, Ms. Wittenberg added.
“We have towels at marathon finish to wipe away the spit on the winners’ faces,” she said. “Our creative team sometimes has to airbrush it off race photos that we want to use for ad campaigns.”
Tom Fleming, who coaches Stefan and me, agrees. A two-time winner of the New York marathon and a distance runner who was ranked fourth in the world, he says there’s a reason he was so fast.
“I was given a body that could train every single day.” Tom said, “and a mind, a mentality, that believed that if I trained every day — and I could train every day — I’ll beat you.”
“The mentality was I will do whatever it takes to win,” he added. “I was totally willing to have the worst pain. I was totally willing to do whatever it takes to win the race.”
But the question is, how do they do it? Can you train yourself to run, cycle, swim or do another sport at the edge of your body’s limits, or is that something that a few are born with, part of what makes them elites?
Sports doctors who have looked into the question say that, at the very least, most people could do a lot better if they knew what it took to do their best.
“Absolutely,” said Dr. Jeroen Swart, a sports medicine physician, exercise physiologist and champion cross-country mountain biker who works at the Sports Science Institute of South Africa.
“Some think elite athletes have an easy time of it,” Dr. Swart said in a telephone interview. Nothing could be further from the truth.
And as athletes improve — getting faster and beating their own records — “it never gets any easier,” Dr. Swart said. “You hurt just as much.”
But, he added, “Knowing how to accept that allows people to improve their performance.”
One trick is to try a course before racing it. In one study, Dr. Swart told trained cyclists to ride as hard as they could over a 40-kilometer course. The more familiar they got with the course, the faster they rode, even though — to their minds — it felt as if they were putting out maximal effort on every attempt.
Then Dr. Swart and his colleagues asked the cyclists to ride the course with all-out effort, but withheld information about how far they’d gone and how far they had to go. Subconsciously, the cyclists held back the most in this attempt, leaving some energy in reserve.
That is why elite runners will examine a course, running it before they race it. That is why Lance Armstrong trained for the grueling Tour de France stage on l’Alpe d’Huez by riding up the mountain over and over again.
“You are learning exactly how to pace yourself,” Dr. Swart said.
Another performance trick during competitions is association, the act of concentrating intensely on the very act of running or cycling, or whatever your sport is, said John S. Raglin, a sports psychologist at Indiana University.
In studies of college runners, he found that less accomplished athletes tended to dissociate, to think of something other than their running to distract themselves.
“Sometimes dissociation allows runners to speed up, because they are not attending to their pain and effort,” he said. “But what often happens is they hit a sort of physiological wall that forces them to slow down, so they end up racing inefficiently in a sort of oscillating pace.” But association, Dr. Raglin says, is difficult, which may be why most don’t do it.
Dr. Swart says he sees that in cycling, too. “Our hypothesis is that elite athletes are able to motivate themselves continuously and are able to run the gantlet between pushing too hard — and failing to finish — and underperforming,” Dr. Swart said.
To find this motivation, the athletes must resist the feeling that they are too tired and have to slow down, he added. Instead, they have to concentrate on increasing the intensity of their effort. That, Dr. Swart said, takes “mental strength,” but “allows them to perform close to their maximal ability.”
Dr. Swart said he did this himself, but it took experience and practice to get it right. There were many races, he said, when “I pushed myself beyond my abilities and had to withdraw, as I was completely exhausted.”
Finally, with more experience, Dr. Swart became South Africa’s cross-country mountain biking champion in 2002.
Some people focus by going into a trancelike state, blocking out distractions. Others, like Dr. Swart, have a different method: He knows what he is capable of and which competitors he can beat, and keeps them in his sight, not allowing himself to fall back.
“I just hate to lose,” Dr. Swart said. “I would tell myself I was the best, and then have to prove it.”
Kim Smith has a similar strategy.
“I don’t want to let the other girls get too far ahead of me,” she said in a telephone interview. “I pretty much try and focus really hard on the person in front of me.”
And while she tied her success to having “some sort of talent toward running,” Ms. Smith added that there were “a lot of people out there who were probably just as talented. You have to be talented, and you have to have the ability to push yourself through pain.”
And, yes, she does get saliva all over her face.
“It’s not a pretty sport,” Ms. Smith said. “You are not looking good at the end.”
As for the race she ran with my son, she said: “I’m sorry if I spit all over Stefan.” (She didn’t, Stefan said.)

Article From New York Times

By GINA KOLATA

Published: October 18, 2010

Becky C's Scholarship and Opportunity Update

 

Change the date!  The date for the Sophomore-Junior College Night has been changed from Tuesday, September 21^st, to Monday, November 1^st, due to a conflict with the speaker.  We apologize for the inconvenience.
 
     Private College Visits to CFA: (held in the Quiet Room unless otherwise noted)
 
  October 22:   Duke University at 10:30 a.m. (rescheduled)
      November 1:   Elon University at 2:00 p.m.
     November 2:   Radford University (VA) at 2:00 p.m.
      November 12:  Campbell University at 11:30 (on-site admission to be held)
      November 15:  Peace College at 11:15 a.m. 

College Information:  
Cornell, Dartmouth, Vanderbilt Information Session – Regional presentations will be held in the following cities:  Durham on October 17 at the Durham Marriott Convention Center; Winston-Salem on October 19 at the Marriott Winston-Salem; and Greenville, SC on October 20 at the Hyatt Regency Greenville.  All presentations are scheduled from 7:30-9:30 p.m.  To register, visit http://admissions.vanderbilt.edu/joint-travel-program. 
Louisburg College Open House – Visit the campus on October 23^rd, from 10:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. to determine if Learning Partners is the right choice, a program which provides academic support programs for students with disabilities and ADHD. 
 
Meredith College Senior Visitation Day – This event is scheduled for Friday, October 29.  Register online at www.meredith.edu/admissions/sr-visit-reg-form.htm.   
National Portfolio Day (hosted by Virginia Commonwealth University) – Representatives from art schools around the nation will be available on Saturday, November 6, from 1-5.  For listing of schools, see poster on the College Information bulletin board. 
PGA Gold Management Visitation Day at Campbell University – Juniors and seniors interested in the golf industry are invited to this event on November 12.  See Ms. Copenhaver for the registration or visit www.campbell.edu/pgagm.   
Salem College Open House Events – The Fall Visit for Seniors will be held on October 24-25 with other dates scheduled for November 13 and December 3.  To register, visit www.salem.edu.
 
UNC-Charlotte Open House – Dates are at 9:00 a.m. on Saturdays -- October 30, November 20, March 26, and April 16.   Visit http://admissions.uncc.edu for information. 
Explore UNCG – This visitation program will be held on October 23, and students may register by visiting www.uncg.edu/adm/visit.   
Scholarship Information:  
AXA Achievement Scholarship – Awards of $10,000 or $25,000 will be given for students who meet the following criteria:  have been active in the community; have led a project that benefits others; have overcome personal challenges.  Learn more at www.axa-achievement.com.  Deadline to apply:  December 15. 
Belk Scholarship (Davidson College) – This is the college’s most prestigious merit award, which covers the comprehensive costs of attending Davidson.  CFA may nominate one candidate no later than November 15.  If you are interested in being considered, please see Ms. Copenhaver right away. 
Boston University Trustee Scholarship – This is a four year, full tuition award to BU.  The deadline to apply is December 1.  For information, visit www.bu.edu/admissions/trustee.   
Coca-Cola Scholars – This foundation is awarding $3,000,000 a year to 250 deserving students!  Apply online at www.coca-colascholars.org by October 31. 
Emory Scholars Program – Four outstanding students may self-nominate for this prestigious award at Emory University. These awards are based entirely upon the student’s merit, not financial need.  The nomination and complete application for admission must arrive by November 15.  Please see Ms. Copenhaver if you are interested in being nominated.    
Gates Millennium Scholars Program -- Students are encouraged to apply for this prestigious scholarship.  The award is renewable up to five years and is open to students attending any U.S. accredited college.  Criteria include:  significant financial need; cumulative unweighted GPA of 3.3; and leadership through community service or activities.  Applicants must be African American, American Indian, Asian Pacific Islander American, or Hispanic American.  If interested, see Ms. Copenhaver.  Deadline to apply:  January 10. Visit www.gmsp.org.  
Gladys Baars Campbell Full Endowed Scholarship (Campbell University) – This scholarship is for students from southeastern North Carolina and recognizes academic excellence, leadership, and community service.  It includes all tuition, fees, room, board, and books.  Criteria include:  3.5 unweighted GPA, 1800 on SAT (CR, M, W), ACT score of 27 or above.  If you are interested in being nominated, please contact Ms. Copenhaver.  Deadline for scholarship application is November 5. 

 
Levine Scholars – UNC-Charlotte introduces a new scholarship, which includes full tuition, room/board, a new laptop, and summer experiences totaling $90,000!  If you are interested in being nominated from CFA, please see Ms. Copenhaver for more information. 
Peace College Scholarship – There are two opportunities for scholarships at Peace.  One scholarship offers full-tuition for students with a 4.0 GPA and SAT score of 1300 (CR and M) or ACT score of 29.  The second opportunity is for students from a private high school.  The award is up to $4,000 yearly for a female student with a GPA of 2.5 or better and a combined SAT score of 900 (ACT of 19).  If you wish to be nominated, please see Ms. Copenhaver by January 15. 
 
Roanoke College Scholars Program – Students receive $175,000 over four years.  To apply, visit www.roanoke.edu/scholars.  Deadlines:  January 10 for the February competition.   
Ron Brown Scholar Program – This prestigious scholarship encourages underrepresented minorities to apply. Visit infor@ronbrown.org for information and the application at www.ronbrown.org.   
Thomas Wolfe Scholarship at UNC-Chapel Hill – This award is for full undergraduate support for student writers.  Applications will be received through November 1.  Go to http://english.unc.edu/creative/tws for an application and complete instructions.  
University of Toledo Presidential Scholarship – This award includes full tuition/fees for four years and a stipend for study-abroad.  Criteria include:  3.8 GPA; 1340 SAT/30 ACT.  An application and the scholarship must be submitted by December 1.  Visit www.utoledo.edu/admission/apply and www.utoledo.edu/admission/presidential.  

 
Other Opportunities: 

 Catalyst Conference at UNC-Chapel Hill -- Every year, the Catalyst Conference brings a selected group of 80 high school students from across North Carolina to UNC-CH for a weekend-long exploration of social justice issues affecting both America and the larger world. Through leadership and personal development sessions, we aim to empower participants so they can serve as catalysts for positive change in their own communities. The Catalyst Conference serves a vital need, as encouraging today’s youth to take an interest in national and worldly issues is vital to securing an educated and passionate group of future leaders. These 80 students will face a challenging task; they will be asked to view the world through the eyes of another and come to a realization of the underlying similarities that connect us all.  The conference will be held from February 25-27, 2011 for students in grades 9-11.  Visit http://campus-y.unc.edu for information and an application or see Ms. Copenhaver.  Deadline to apply is November 8. 

 College Discovery Day – Discover your future in theatre, as you meet more than 20 colleges on November 20^th at Greensboro College.  High school seniors audition and present portfolios, underclassmen prepare for senior year, and everyone gets an in-depth look at college theatre programs in North Carolina. 
Learn and Earn Online at CFCC – The spring schedule for the online college courses is available.  The only courses available are STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math).  Visit http://cfcc.edu/gateway/LEO.html for information.
 
Nestle Very Best in Youth – This award is for students ages 13-18, who have distinguished themselves academically and through service and leadership.  Winners receive $1,000 to the charity of their choice and an all-expense paid trip for them and one parent to attend the awards ceremony in Los Angeles on July 23, 2010.  To apply, visit http://verybestinyouoth.nestleusa.com before November 1. 
Prudential Spirit of Community Award -- This award seeks to recognize students who have demonstrated exemplary community service and is presented at the local and state levels, as well as the national level.  Students apply online at http://www.spirit.prudential.com/ or www.principals.org/spirit by November 1.  Print the application and bring it to Ms. Copenhaver.  The scholarship committee will select the school representative.  Any student in grade 9-12 is eligible to apply.  
Summer Ventures in Science and Mathematics – This is a wonderful opportunity for 10^th and 11^th graders to pursue their interests in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) in a university research setting in North Carolina for four weeks during the summer at NO cost.  Visit http://summerventures.org/ for complete information and video.  More information will be available in the US Office in the coming weeks.  Deadline to apply:  January 31. 
UNCW Spring Courses – Anyone interested in registering for a class at UNCW for the spring semester, must submit an application by November 1.  You must be 16 years old; have a GPA of 3.5; and a SAT score of 1100 on critical reading and math.  See Ms. Copenhaver for an application.